This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You pole danced in your parka.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize