this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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