walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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