I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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