we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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