he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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