Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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