is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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