I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
