all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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