We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
