ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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