guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
