Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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