Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Never joke about your clitoris.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
