fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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