If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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