I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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