i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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