you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
