why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
