just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
