The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
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