So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
you had me at cake vodka
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
