I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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