and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
