God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
