just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
