Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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