Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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