would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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