I think my vagina is haunted
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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