Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
