No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Panties = found
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
