Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
