you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Is this like a preordered booty call?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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