Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
