Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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