She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
