he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Randomize
