Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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