Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
