college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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