OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
