he puts the penis in happiness.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
