i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
