Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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