It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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