you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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