hotel room ftw
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
