god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
