i think my tv is drunk
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Did I show you my penis last night?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
