Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
