well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
and you fell through a lawn chair
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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