We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
