Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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