my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Sorry about my life...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize