from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
