im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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