oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize