mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
