why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Hippo gnu deer
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
