I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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