This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Did I show you my penis last night?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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