im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
