Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
