come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
