Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
