i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I need a beard to bite.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
