bring money and cleavage
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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