just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
